Fear Grumbling
- Katie Smith
- 4 minutes ago
- 3 min read
Following the same road. Looking at the same clouds. Watching the same fire. Eating the same foods.
Even if you pick up and move every other day, week, or month, there is still a temptation to grumble just as the Israelites did thousands of years ago. The bread from heaven got old. The setup and breakdown went from exciting to exhausting. The grumbling and complaining was as constant then as it is for us today.
We vacillate between wanting to work for ourselves and wanting to work for others. After times of exhaustion, we want to treat ourselves, take a break, or find rest, but then we'll swing the pendulum from spoiled guilt to service seeker. We will donate our time, give our money, or help those less fortunate. We live with this constant tension between flesh and spirit without even recognizing the struggle. Is it practically possible to be content in all circumstances doing everything without arguing and grumbling?
"That night all the members of the community raised their voices and wept aloud. All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, 'If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this wilderness! Why is the Lord bringing us to this land!? Wouldn’t it be better for us to go back to Egypt?' Joshua and Caleb, said to the entire Israelite assembly, 'The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. If the Lord is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will devour them. Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them.'” (Numbers 14:1-9 abridged)
The lack of faith kept God's people wandering through the desert for another thirty-eight years until the “unbelieving generation” died. The lack of faith is what causes fear grumbling. They wanted to understand all the potential risks, which sounded like due diligence, but it was really a recipe for disbelief. One commentator put it this way: “Certainly, the unbelieving in Israel would claim that they did believe God for many things. They believed His presence would be with them in the pillars of cloud and fire. They believed He would provide manna daily. They believed that He would provide water as needed. At many points they did believe, but not here, at this most critical point, at the need of the moment. We have a way of believing everything good about God except at the particular point where we are being challenged.” (Enduringword.com, Numbers 14)
Don’t we do the same when we want to know all the details ahead of time? If we think something will be too hard, we begin to complain before we've even taken our first step. Detail-orientation appears like wisdom, but it can be the nightmare of "good sense." The grumbling comes from fear, and the fear comes from lack of faith. Do we trust that God is enough? Will He be able to satisfy us? And if He does not, what else will? The fearful questions waterfall through our spiraling brains...
Should we live here? Will this place make us happy? What will keep us from arguing? If we serve others, will we stop grumbling about ourselves? If we keep traveling will we find contentment? What if we don't like where God takes us? What if we don't have friends there? What if we never find a place?
The reconnaissance mission intended to reduce anxiety only incites more questions. If we want to be content, we must learn to actually walk by faith, not claim we are faith filled like the Israelites, not remaining in the wilderness, not returning to slavery, but actually taking steps in faith. God affirms and even shows us a vision, but we must be leery of looking for all the details ahead of time. God will never take us back to slavery, and He is more than enough to satisfy us.
~As we finish our time overseas, we don't know exactly where we will go next, but we know we will never be the same. Instead of following the old familiar paths, may we continue moving closer to Him, who we know, even when everything else feels strangely unknown.
~Carefully and Carelessly Fearful
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