Abandoned

"Abandonment means refusing yourself the luxury of asking questions, The moment you truly abandon yourself to God, you no longer worry about what He's going to do." (Oswald Chambers, Utmost for His Highest, Apr. 28)

Abandon: To forsake, relinquish, yield without restraint, give up control, leave completely, physically depart, release inhibitions, renounce utterly, freedom from artificial constraints, ease to surrender, leave behind, release, hand over, or give up completely (multiple sources)

The word Abandon has come up so much since I left the US. Everywhere I look, I read "Abandon."

When we abandon ourselves, it means we leave comfort without asking questions. "Maybe you can’t see God, can’t understand what he’s doing. But you know Him. God has given everything in Jesus Christ to save you. Now he wants you to give everything for His sake. He wants you to fling yourself out in reckless abandonment to him." (Oswald Chambers. Utmost for His Highest, May 8)

As we've moved around in foreign countries where we don't speak the language, we quickly realized that we've abandoned our rhythm. It's as if we've flung ourselves out in a reckless abandonment. We couldn't pack our whiteboard, toys, balls, or textbooks. But we did bring a new boredom that we didn't even have when living in the RV--an uncomfortable uncertainty with regard to our patterns.

We left our ingrained model of living, and we are forced to embrace a new method. During this process, we have seen our own unhealthy habits emerge and gaps in our personal worldviews. It's tempting to arrogantly judge those who live, eat, and play differently from us in the west, but much of this stems from the discomfort of abandonment.

When we abandon our ways, one of two things happens. Either our vulnerability draws us towards fear and pride, yearning to return to the ways from where we came, the customs we understand, or we draw nearer to the Lord in freedom, pursuing a better way of living.

"Such people all... knew they were strangers here. This earth was not their home. People who say these things show they are looking for a country of their own. They did not think about the country they had come from. If they had, they might have gone back. But they wanted a better country. And so God is not ashamed to be called their God. He has made a city for them." (Hebrews 11:13-16)

This is not to say that one country on earth is better than another, but that there is no perfect country or place to reside. Instead, we should abandon the "American Dream" and live as foreigners anywhere on earth. If we keep seeking a comfortable existence, we will miss out on being made holy.

I have erroneously been looking for a place to call home, but I am a stranger everywhere. Abandoning my way of thinking and putting on my new self every single day allows me to remove constraints that chain me to comfort and control. I am praying for a greater fullness in the Lord so that I can embrace my foreign nature. Thanks be to God that He will "never abandon me" (Deuteronomy 31:6) no matter how far I travel.

"Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast." (Psalm 139:7-10)

Abandon your plans, your rhythms and your comfort, and witness God's tangible reality more than you ever did in your common place.

~Abandoning Carefully & Carelessly