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  • Katie Smith

My Turn!

"God sometimes allows you to be tested in a way that requires you to sacrifice your own well-being. At such times, it seems only right for you to think about yourself, to put your needs first. But if you are living a life of faith, you will joyfully set aside your right and allow God to direct your path.
Whenever we allow rights and entitlements to guide us, we dull our spiritual insight. The great enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin; it’s the good which isn’t good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best.
Many of us fail to progress spiritually because we prefer to choose what seems right instead of relying on God to choose for us." (Chambers, Utmost for His Highest, May 25)

My first world customs have been threatened. They are suffocating to their slow death. My first-world luxuries: space, time, convenience and comfort aren't readily available these days, so I must let them go or fight for a "good" life that wouldn't be my best life.

My first-world problems creep into my mind and capture my heart. They whisper: I have a RIGHT to personal space, personal comfort, and personal respect. I DESERVE a certain level of care and concern. I have GIVEN a lot, I WANT something back.

These LIES don't make me feel better. The add insult to my already injured pride. Every so often I feel like a little girl. I want to stomp my foot, cross my arms, and complain that I can't do what I want to do. Then, I throw myself a wonderfully large pity-party because my life has changed.

Still, I recognize that I don't want my old life. So that's when the tears of confusion fall down my cheeks from a concoction of mad mixed with sad. The matra "fake it till you make it" doesn't work for me either. I have always worn my heart on my tattered sleeve.

THANKFULLY I've learned what does work--confession, then repentance. They always quiet the lies. Crying and confessing to God helps me realign my mind during an internal battle. "What I want to do, I don't do, and what I do not want to do, I do" (Romans 7:15). When I humble myself and ask God for help, He helps me. He has never failed me, and He loves me even with my first-world pity-parties, which I must surrender to Him.

Thank goodness His mercies are new and glorious every morning. The party that comes with the sunrise and sunset are so much richer than any party I try to throw myself. Better yet, as I age, I am quicker with confession and slower with repetition.

More than that, thank God for all those who have FREELY GIVEN UP their first-world comforts to SERVE our country and other countries around the world. Gratitude changes everything.

*Many people think we are simply "on vacation" as we live in an RV. Others are appalled by our lack of space or stability. I can assure you, this is no constant vacay, but we are quickly learning to adapt to our surroundings better than we ever had. It really does require that I continue to surrender myself and my desires every single day, and then God offers me beautiful intimacy with Him that makes it all worthwhile.

~Rightfully Careful and Careless

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