No Man's Land-Getting Stuck in Stalemate

The Book War Horse was my last read while teaching my younger kids about the horrors of World War 1. There is a scene where Joey, the narrating horse, runs aimlessly through No Man's Land stuck between gunfire, barbed wire, and endless disorienting smoke. I always tear up while reading it aloud. Yet No Man's Land was not just a symbol of the war's brutal stalemate and immense casualties, but also occasionally the site of spontaneous Christmas Truces like the one portrayed in this fictional story where both sides want to rescue an innocent, lost creature and forsake fighting.

It reminded me of the disorientation that occurs during transitions. We can all agree that remodeling, remaking, and reconstructing take time and energy on levels that many of us don't have. That's why resolutions don't last. We want a faster fix, but commencing a truce takes time.

Many people say they don't like change, but I think it's the "in between" that actually insights discomfort. Change is natural. Transitions on the other hand--- the time in between-- finding a new place or new rhythm-- this is where we can get overwhelmed and give up. Transitional time feels like scary No Man's Land--floating in the fog of bewilderment.

Where to do we start? How long will it take? When will it end? The density of fog mounts higher with every uncertainty. It's not the war where we struggle most, but the time between war and peace. The unsettled quiet of No Man's Land causes an unforeseen stalemate. Like Joey, we run back and forth in a smoke screen. We stay in unhealthy, lonely, or even harmful situations because the sheer magnitude of No Man's Land is simply too terrifying to make another move.

However, if you're like me, you quickly call a stalemate when the game is not actually over. This happens whenever I play my son in chess. I don't want to think so hard anymore so I call a stalemate. However, he always informs me that there are opportunities for both sides yet to win.

It takes compounding, stressful circumstances to bring us into, as well as out of, No Man's Land because we wrestle with an invisible enemy. Wrestling in the fog often leaves us maimed or dislocated. Like Jacob, during a transition of two life chapters, he had to wrestle with God. But in the foggy middle of the night, he didn't know who or what he was fighting. Once the sun rose however, he could see clearly and even limp with confidence towards his next chapter.

We may feel stuck in No Man's Land. The barbed wire, the gunfire, and the thick fog exhaust us into calling a stalemate during our wrestling. However, when we reach the end of ourselves, this is often where the disorienting transition ends, and we find our new way. The fog eventually lifts. The sun eventually rises. And before we know it, we are in a whole new season, transformed for the better by the unexpected Christmas truce.

~Carefully & Carelessly Un-stalemated