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The Perfect Event

Katie Smith

It starts when we are very young. We want to add more and more to our fun. It wouldn't be a movie night without popcorn, but what if we add to the popcorn, candy, and to the candy, dim lighting, and to the lighting, surround sound, and to the sounds, cozy blankets, and also friends, and why not make it a double feature? We must suck out the most enjoyment from every single magical moment.


We don't want to stop making things more magical either, so we inject elaborate components of pleasure to masquerade simple events into ultimate ones--like feasts and banquets. We all want to sit as kings and queens of our events relishing in the good work of our planning.


Don't get me wrong, I love a good party, but the error occurs when we fixate on perfection in order to call something successful. We must prove that we have included every element that would impress other royalty should they pass by or receive an invitation to the event, only then do we find satisfaction in our plans.


Moreover, we tell ourselves that this could be our last event. The last time we turn a certain age. The last season with those people. The last chance to enjoy the vacation. The last opportunity to soak up that particular moment. If we are to live each moment as if it's our last, then shouldn't we go all out? This puts an enormous amount of pressure on both the plans and the planner, stealing the joy in the process.


I found myself increasingly disappointed with my planning efforts after first having children. Kids don't care how much you paid, planned or prepared for an event, they will express whatever they are feeling without consideration. However, this unbridled enthusiasm, or lack thereof, also gives us a window into what we should have realized all along: the added elements are like added sugar--they only give us a stomach ache.


People get sick, weather patterns change, exhaustion occurs, and it all makes for non-refundable disappointment. If we stopped adding more to one plate and just enjoyed whatever portion we received, then we would find all our events have their own sweetness without the extra sugar.

It's like when you plan to go to your favorite concert or sporting event, and then you're asked if you want to add insurance to the purchase, then add dinner, then add drinks, then add a pillow to your premium seats. There's always one more thing that could "make it better."


Today, prom proposals look like wedding proposals. Graduation ceremonies mimic wedding rehearsals, and birthday parties resemble wedding receptions. A wedding represents the quintessential event--a place where it's culturally appropriate to "pull out all the stops" without question or hesitation. Unfortunately even this event seems to have taken a turn for the worse, seeking perfection rather than purpose.


When we stop trying to make every opportunity heaven on earth, we'll learn to enjoy whatever our event looks like. The simpler the better. Just as kids are happy building with boxes, sticks, or rocks if that's all they've ever be given, we too are happiest when we let go of perfection. Our ultimate event is not in this life, but it will be THE perfect event when we get home.


“The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son" (Matthew 22:2)

"And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” (Revelation 19:9) It gives us pure joy to settle into imperfect events as we prepare for the perfect wedding feast in our future.




~ Carefully and Carelessly Imperfect

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