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  • Katie Smith

What are we doing here?

I have often asked myself why are we here? We aren't serving, volunteering, or giving our time in the traditional sense, and the teacher in me wants to be sure I'm dotting all my I's and crossing all my T's. So why not just start in the States where it would have been a moderate introduction to RV-living-- establish our rhythms and strengthen our communication there?

Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” (John 13:7)

I know we are all being pruned, and we don't fully see the fruits of our labors here in Mexico, but the one consistent reason I can see for us being here is for "God winks." I didn't know this term until my 88 year-old friend told me about it, but it has helped me stop trying to figure out the"Whys?" God winks (from the book When God Winks, which I have never read) are those coincidental moments, that are anything but coincidence. They are times when God graciously continues revealing himself to us.

A "God wink" is often not seen when life is within our control panel. But when you step out in faith, in a direction that others tell you not to go because it's too dangerous, too difficult, or too drastic for you, then His hands catch you with only a wink of His eye.

We have seen wink after wink here in Mexico because we are forced to let Him work as He wanted to all along. It's getting to the end of yourself-- all that's left is a "a huge ocean" on one side and a "mountain of an army" on the other. That's when you get to witness the wonderful winks. Whether it's as simple as being on the last square of toilet paper and finding a store in the middle of nowhere with one roll left, or wishing we had fresh fish for Easter and a van pulls up from the beach with freshly caught Tilapia, or having angels drive by on the side of the road with skills needed to fix the exact problem in our Rig. The hands and winks of God have been thrilling.

It's taught me to let go of pressure planning and replace it with prayer planning. Now, I still have a long way to go-- I'm a teacher mind you. I love a good plan, but there's certainly a new side of my heart and mind that's being re-calibrated to stay open to God's winks rather than planning for worse case scenarios.

Oswald Chambers wrote another perfect entry about this:

“Our natural inclination is to be so precise--trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next--that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty... when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty

and expectancy. Consequently, we do not put down roots. Our common sense says, “Well, what if I were in that circumstance?” We cannot presume to see ourselves in any circumstance in which we have never been. Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life – gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life.” (Utmost for His Highest, April 29)

Jesus' disciples didn't know exactly what He was doing either, but they saw His handiwork and miracles-- "The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!” (Matthew 8:27) Even Jesus' birth-mother knew something incredible was shaping her, but she couldn't put her finger on it in the beginning--"Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart" (Luke 2:19).

I am treasuring and pondering what God is doing in our lives right now, and we are all standing amazed at the works of His hands. I don't need to know why we are here, I just need to be here and open my eyes to His winks.

~Winks carefully and carelessly

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